Apr. 17th, 2009 06:06 pm
polerin: My shadow on a wall (Default)
So, we are about to head out and have our first real vacation type thing ever... even if it is just a weekend.

Camping at Rock Island.

I can't wait.

In other news, Coffee and tea are yummy, and I've been up since 5 yesterday morning (two one hour naps aside). Work pushes suck. Lissa snuggles are yummy.


Mar. 4th, 2006 12:39 am
polerin: My shadow on a wall (Default)
I've had a really hard time sleeping for the last couple weeks. The reasons are probably not all that hard to guess, but I think it is having a serious delterious effect on my emotional state, and my interactions with Melissa. Both of us are staying awake far too late, and getting up early and just driving ourselves into the ground. I'm going to be doing my best to go to sleep before 12 from now on.

Lissa wanted me to sleep with her tonight, because the couch has been hurting my neck, but I can't do that. It lets her hold on to the relationship that she is trying to let go of, so as much as I wish I could be up there tonight, its not right. Plus, those damn dogs are still here.

My hair smells nice though... long hot showers are one of the few pure pleasures I have, and I'm all clean and smell good right now. Love that. Plus, the John Butler Trio kick some serious ass. If he wasn't a guy, and all hairy, I'd seriously think of going all fangirl an him. Seriously one of the best guitarists making music today.
polerin: My shadow on a wall (Default)
How do you step aside and watch someone you've loved and held close to your chest for the past 6 years fall head over heels for someone else?
I'm sitting here as Lissa becomes more and more involved with someone from the net, and not being honest with herself about it. Or not being honest with me about it. I don't know what to think or how to think about it. The things she used to tell me, she now tells him. The games that she used to play with me, she now plays with him, and when we talk, he's all she can talk about. I know that I am not her spouse any more, that she doesn't want me to be in her life in this manner, but I don't know how to just stand back and let someone else win her heart. I want her to be happy, but jealousy rears it's green scaily head when someone else comes a'knocking and she answers with a smile.

The worst part is I understand why she is gravitating towards him... he's alot like me.


polerin: My shadow on a wall (Default)

November 2009

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