Repost of a comment that will likely not be shown

[polerin]

I've commented 4 times on different entries in the "womensspace" blog, but it's writer/moderator has apparently not seen fit to post any of my comments. I stumbled across it because of the general stupidity and intolerance of /b/, and I think I have been guilty by association.

So, Simply because I wanted at least someone to read my words, here is her post (including a snip of her quoting someone else) and my response below it.

Women's space on transsexuals

(snip)Then there’s the obvious difference between them and lesbians in that lesbians are lesbians because they’re attracted to women of the same sex, not gender. This is an area where many political transsexuals are also attacking because it obviously leaves them out and they don’t like or accept that from lesbians. Again, this is male privilege asserting itself in that men always have the presumptive freedom of going and doing as they please.(/snip)

I find it interesting to note the similarities between this discussion and one I witnessed between an anarchist and CCCP member. The subject matter was supposedly the same (globalization and it’s effects) but the place from which the sides approached the issue was so different that there wasn’t even a common language with which to form a dialog.

In some ways I will never speak your language, but I would hope I can bridge this gap in some ways. I claim to speak for no transperson other than myself, and I suspect that some of what I say you may still believe as male domination, or spawned from it. I can only endevor to look within myself and examine each choice I make as fully as I can and try to realize where they come from and what effect they have.

couple quick comments:

• There are some on the trans community that have serious mental issues other than gender dysphoia. Some of these stem from years of abuse and self hate, most don’t.



• While I may retain some vestiges of white male power, they are far outweighed by the loss of freedom my transition has wrought.



• The trans concern (some would say obsession) with appearance is one part inexperience and three parts fear. We fear every day that someone will read us and bring violence upon us that extends beyond that of what we would otherwise suffer as women.



• I don’t claim to know what being a woman is. I will never know what it is like to have a period, I will never know what it is like to grow up afraid of sexual violence instead of mere physical violence. I do, however, know from years of introspection that my transition is not an attempt to cheapen what being a woman means to anyone.



• The language of the trans community is not one of power. Most seem to be unable to grasp interpersonal dynamics and how they effect politics and social interactions. Instead the community talks amongst itself of fear and hope, of internal growth and freeing ourself of what we have been taught for years and years is wrong. In general for me as a MtF this implies learning how to let go of the aggression and impetuousness that I used to shield myself from years of self hatred.



• I would have killed myself eventually, either through suicide or through falling into the self-destructive hyper-masculinity that claims so many trans women before they can free themselves of the shame and denial that patriarchal society has beat into them. The later would have been the greater tragedy, as it would have hurt many more people than simple suicide.



• I wish to understand and participate. I may not have your background, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t help your struggle. I live my life to help others with every breath that I take, because others have done the same for me.

Comments

[belledame222.livejournal.com]

Hey, just to say, good post, and I'm sorry it's falling on deaf ears in that particular venue. I don't know how you arrived there, but there are venues more receptive to dialogue in the feminist sphere, even with second wavers. here, for instance

http://daisysdeadair.blogspot.com/2007/08/say-yes-to-michigan.html

[eclexia.livejournal.com]

I tend to be a little hardheaded about trying to reach out to those who don't want to reach back. Thank you for your kind words and the link. (I am curious how you found this post though ;p )

[belledame222.livejournal.com]

Surfing, don't remember the exact route...

'Ello

[drakyn.livejournal.com]

Eh, Heart and her regular commenters are a lost cause.
I think Heart only reads comments like yours to find weaknesses in your facts/arguments to exploit. She's referenced my comments before, but never addresses what I actually say; she's just pointed out minor semantic errors (Mary Daly apparently called trans*people Frankenstein's monster, not Frankenstein for instance).
And she still bases her opinions and arguments on the same old tired stereotypes.
It's better to focus your energy on more friendly (or at least neutral) places. Have you checked out Transadvocate, Brownfemippower, Little Light, or Belledame's blog?
And Little Light has an awesome poem: http://takingsteps.blogspot.com/2007/01/seam-of-skin-and-scales.html

[daisydeadhead.livejournal.com]

Rest assured, my blog discussion that Belledame referenced, is about the very rift you have mentioned. I'm sorry the crew at Heart's blog pissed you off, please know that all radical feminists are not as obtuse.

[eclexia.livejournal.com]

Don'worry I've far thicker skin than that. It irks me to not be allowed to speak, but during the years before I started coming to terms with myself I internalized far worse self-hatred than they could EVER direct at me. Thank you though, and I'll keep reading. For awhile you may not see many comments from me other than on trans issues, but that's because I'm reading and thinking :)

[shadefell.livejournal.com]

I bummed over here from pebele's LJ.

I read through that link and the comments and, as a genetic woman, I just have to say that I missed the memo that my boobs were supposed to be a sign of pain and suffering. I guess I'm not female enough or something?

I was kind of shaking my head confusedly over most of the bile-splashing, but one of the last comments really just stunned me.

*looks down at chest * Hey, boobs. I don't despise you. Even when you get sweaty underneath you or get in the way. I promise to never join a club that revolves around despising you, too.

“Yes, we never get to feel. Why? Do you know some of us watch while girls go through the puberty process, growing up, having chests, attending proms.”

Do you see how focused you are on puberty and breasts? It is disgusting to women who SUFFERED GOING THROUGH THAT. You are obsessed with the very thing we want to unite over having despised. I don’t want to be leered at, or envied. I want someone who also had to experience the public death of the person I was because visible signs of puberty meant the death of personhood.