dream defered
Feb. 21st, 2006 09:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
polerinWhat happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?
-langston hughes
This has been my favorite poem for years (followed closely by Yeats-"The Second Comeing".) The deceptively simple and sparse lines are beautifully crafted, their tempo rolling off of the tounge in a slow fall, as if hesitant to show themself for fear of what they might reveal.
I've always looked at it in a social level, brushing on the personal only when I considered personal dreams crushed by culture's weight. I think this is really because I first read this poem at a time in my life where I had no dreams really, no longterm asperations other than to know myself and make others happy, to help fufill others dreams.
In a few years, I met Melissa while looking for someone who needed my help and who completed me. I didn't know that's what I was looking for, but it was. She blew into my life like a redheaded whirlwind, sweeping me up in her turbulent beautiful passion, giving me purpose and drive to actually DO. For 6 years I stood side by side with her, supporting her as she supported me, sharing the deepest secrets of each others souls. When I told her I was trans almost 3 years ago, I put Melissa's life on hold, and her dreams were stopped in their tracks. I hoped that the dreams that she had given me over the years would be close enough for her that she could find herself in them, but this wasn't the case.
Now, probably 15 years after I first read this poem, I have my second full revelation about it. Not only is it a poem about a people, it is a poem about a person, every person. Dreams aren't just what you do or want to do with your life, they are part and parcel of how you live your life and how you love someone. My dreams of a faimly with Melissa wont' ever come true, so I have to put them aside now. I don't know how to do that, but I think I must learn, or do what Melissa has done to herself for the past 3 years... what I have done to her.
The problem with dreams is that everyone has them.. and they can't all come true.
Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?
-langston hughes
This has been my favorite poem for years (followed closely by Yeats-"The Second Comeing".) The deceptively simple and sparse lines are beautifully crafted, their tempo rolling off of the tounge in a slow fall, as if hesitant to show themself for fear of what they might reveal.
I've always looked at it in a social level, brushing on the personal only when I considered personal dreams crushed by culture's weight. I think this is really because I first read this poem at a time in my life where I had no dreams really, no longterm asperations other than to know myself and make others happy, to help fufill others dreams.
In a few years, I met Melissa while looking for someone who needed my help and who completed me. I didn't know that's what I was looking for, but it was. She blew into my life like a redheaded whirlwind, sweeping me up in her turbulent beautiful passion, giving me purpose and drive to actually DO. For 6 years I stood side by side with her, supporting her as she supported me, sharing the deepest secrets of each others souls. When I told her I was trans almost 3 years ago, I put Melissa's life on hold, and her dreams were stopped in their tracks. I hoped that the dreams that she had given me over the years would be close enough for her that she could find herself in them, but this wasn't the case.
Now, probably 15 years after I first read this poem, I have my second full revelation about it. Not only is it a poem about a people, it is a poem about a person, every person. Dreams aren't just what you do or want to do with your life, they are part and parcel of how you live your life and how you love someone. My dreams of a faimly with Melissa wont' ever come true, so I have to put them aside now. I don't know how to do that, but I think I must learn, or do what Melissa has done to herself for the past 3 years... what I have done to her.
The problem with dreams is that everyone has them.. and they can't all come true.
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no subject
Date: 2006-02-22 03:09 pm (UTC)-Lissa
no subject
Date: 2006-02-24 06:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-23 03:05 am (UTC)perhaps it's selfish of me, but I have never put any of my dreams on hold for anyone. and I never would. the people I love and choose to share my life with are not in control of my life. I believe that putting someone else in control of your life can only lead to pain, resentment, anger and ultimately unhappiness all around.
will all of my dreams come true? I doubt it. but that's sort of the thing... dreams are dreams. they are plans or realities, they are simply fantasy. life is less about dreams and more about the reality of who you are and what you accomplish.
you are doing an amazing thing; you are putting all your focus in to achieving a dream that many would consider impossible. everyone says they want to "find themself", but you are truly finding yourself and changing your life. very few people can even come close to comprehending what you are doing.
I don't know what my point is. I think it's something along the lines of: no one can ever take away anyone else's dreams, an individual must allow their dreams to be stopped, or they must do it themselves. the goal of life isn't to achieve your every dream, it is to journey ever onward in the pursuit of those dreams. whatever you achieve is amazing, but whatever is left unachieved is not a failure, it is simply a path that was unexplored.
or I need to get some sleep and stop trying to wax philosophical.
in a completely unrelated note, may I direct my partner to your journal? I know that your comments haven't gone unnoticed, but there's also been no formal introduction.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-23 05:29 am (UTC)I'm far from the most optimistic person right now, but what little I have I will share. As Spider Robinson said:
"Shared Pain is divided while shared joy is multiplied."
the more the merrier ;)