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Ramblings and junk
Sep. 18th, 2005 11:51 pmTenderness of my chest has died down mostly, though it does still ache occasionally. I do doubt that I'll see any serious growth any time soon. Right now I weigh 152 or so, which isn't bad per say, but that's 10 pounds heavier than I was when I got this desk job. I really need to find time to exercise more... perhaps I'll actually give roller blading another shot and see if I enjoy it enough to keep doing it. I want to take some weight off so I can put it on when my body is more under the influence of the estradiol so it falls in the right places.
My dad called me yesterday and wanted to make small talk. Right now I can't talk to him. It's like he's trying to use me to perpetuate his denial, that maybe all of this isn't really happening, and that his perfect son (I wasn't but whatever) is still there, and will always be there because he won't accept ME. I muttered a few answers to his questions, and then told him I had to go. It hurt too much.
Work is going well... I finally got the go-ahead for my special project, which is good as it will probably start showing real results about 2-3 months ahead of my coming out, even if the hormones do their work really really quickly.
Live is really hectic right now, with October being on of our busiest months, but we'll make it through, we always have, and we always will. This is about half way through my second week, and while I'm not as ecstatically happy as I was during that first stretch of time, I'm still in a pretty good mood. I haven't noticed any mood swings, simply that I've got some stress, and I've got some good things going on. Luckily so far I seem to be able to retain focus on the good.
I'm falling asleep at the keyboard again. Time for bed, perhaps I'll have something more insightful to say come morning.
My dad called me yesterday and wanted to make small talk. Right now I can't talk to him. It's like he's trying to use me to perpetuate his denial, that maybe all of this isn't really happening, and that his perfect son (I wasn't but whatever) is still there, and will always be there because he won't accept ME. I muttered a few answers to his questions, and then told him I had to go. It hurt too much.
Work is going well... I finally got the go-ahead for my special project, which is good as it will probably start showing real results about 2-3 months ahead of my coming out, even if the hormones do their work really really quickly.
Live is really hectic right now, with October being on of our busiest months, but we'll make it through, we always have, and we always will. This is about half way through my second week, and while I'm not as ecstatically happy as I was during that first stretch of time, I'm still in a pretty good mood. I haven't noticed any mood swings, simply that I've got some stress, and I've got some good things going on. Luckily so far I seem to be able to retain focus on the good.
I'm falling asleep at the keyboard again. Time for bed, perhaps I'll have something more insightful to say come morning.
