polerin: My shadow on a wall (Default)
there is something magical about helping a loved one get to sleep when then aren't feeling well, even when the tensions between the two of you are high at the moment. Lissa and I have been getting along a little better, even though we have rough spots now and then where things are too tough for both of us. We had one of those tough spots tonight, and I spent most of the evening downstairs working on sketches and on. She wasn't feeling well even without the emotional weirdness however, and so I held her as she went to sleep, reasuring her that everthing will be ok eventually.

I think it will.

It'll take a long time, and it's not going to be an easy process. I still hold her dear to my heart, and would give almost anything to have her back, but I realize at least logically that it's not going to happen. Both she and I are strong people, though she has problems realizing that about herself sometimes.

I wish she hadn't bought that damn SUV yesterday though. (long story, I'll put that in another post. It could be worse.)

(well, other than the fact that it's an SUV ;p)


Mar. 4th, 2006 12:39 am
polerin: My shadow on a wall (Default)
I've had a really hard time sleeping for the last couple weeks. The reasons are probably not all that hard to guess, but I think it is having a serious delterious effect on my emotional state, and my interactions with Melissa. Both of us are staying awake far too late, and getting up early and just driving ourselves into the ground. I'm going to be doing my best to go to sleep before 12 from now on.

Lissa wanted me to sleep with her tonight, because the couch has been hurting my neck, but I can't do that. It lets her hold on to the relationship that she is trying to let go of, so as much as I wish I could be up there tonight, its not right. Plus, those damn dogs are still here.

My hair smells nice though... long hot showers are one of the few pure pleasures I have, and I'm all clean and smell good right now. Love that. Plus, the John Butler Trio kick some serious ass. If he wasn't a guy, and all hairy, I'd seriously think of going all fangirl an him. Seriously one of the best guitarists making music today.


polerin: My shadow on a wall (Default)

November 2009

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